Whether they’re speaking in front of an audience, taking a math test or going head-to-head in a game of soccer, children can always benefit from a little extra confidence. From believing in themselves to improving their self-expression, increased confidence helps kids overcome a variety of developmental hurdles.
Studies show that by age four, kids can already differentiate between confident and hesitant individuals. Early childhood is the ideal time for them to start developing their own profound sense of confidence.
Every parent wants to know how to build confidence in kids that sets them up to succeed. From modeling positive behaviors to setting achievable goals, you can practice these five strategies with your kids to help them grow into confident, composed adults.
#1 – Model Confidence to Build Confidence
Children adopt the behaviors you display for them. From a young age, kids take in what they see, hear and learn from their parents, and then mimic those actions.
A study from Michigan State University, found that by age two, 90% of children could copy a drawn-out set of actions immediately after seeing it. As kids grow and their minds mature, they will not only begin mimicking the motions they witness, but the words and emotions they’re exposed to.
It’s important for parents to display confidence in their own life so children have a reliable figure to look up to and model themselves after. To set an example of confidence in the face of challenges, parents can:
- Welcome new challenges with optimism and positivity
- Ensure proper preparation for any difficult tasks so you know you’ll be ready to take them on successfully
- Acknowledge your anxieties and fears, but don’t dwell on them
Remember, confidence does not equate to perfection. It’s often more productive for your child to see you tackle challenges and overcome them than to never see you struggle at all.
#2 – Practice Positive Self-Talk
When children hear negative ideas about themselves and others, they tend to believe them. That’s why it’s helpful to be mindful of the words we use and encourage kids to practice positive self-affirmations.
Positive self-talk is the act of expressing beneficial thoughts about yourself or your situation. For children growing up and experiencing challenging new scenarios, positive self-talk can help them face their fears head-on and overcome life’s challenges.
Your child can practice positive self-talk in their head simply by thinking optimistically. It’s also highly effective to practice vocalizing positive thoughts aloud, and even to repeat them during moments of stress or anxiety; this is the technique many top athletes use to calm themselves before key moments in important matches—and it works wonders for children as well.
Some key affirmations you and your child can say to boost their confidence include:
- There is no one better to be than myself.
- I get better every single day.
- All of my problems have solutions.
- I forgive myself for my mistakes.
- Today, I am a leader.
- I have people who love and respect me.
- I have the power to make my dreams come true.
- My confidence grows when I step outside of my comfort zone.
- I am beautiful inside and out.
- I’m choosing to have an amazing day.
Try out these and other similar phrases; consider brainstorming together to create personalized affirmations that resonate deeply with your child.
#3 – Confirm Their Own Self-Worth and Right to Be Treated Well
Every person deserves fair, kind treatment—that’s especially true for children. Unfortunately, bumps, bruises, mistakes and minor confrontations are a fact of life. It’s how you deal with them that can make all the difference in your child’s confidence levels.
When children have a negative experience, it’s crucial to remind them that even though they’re hurt or sad, they’ll recover and they shouldn’t let it affect their self-worth. Start by expressing sympathy for your child, then help them heal and grow from the situation.
Negative experiences present important opportunities for a deeper life lesson—you should seize them when they arise.
When your child experiences conflict, roadblocks or problems outside of their control, they need three kinds of parental support:
- Emotional validation – Let them know that, for the moment, it’s alright to feel as they feel—whether it be sad, angry, frustrated or otherwise—and in time, these emotions will pass and they’ll feel happy again.
- Help with interpreting what happened – Children may be quick to jump to conclusions about another person’s actions or why something negative happened to them. They may not understand the situation fully; break down what happened to help them see the scenario from a better angle to grasp its true meaning. Make sure you retell the events accurately, but in a way that they can understand.
- Help with generating potential solutions – Conflict solutions may not be immediately apparent to children who are still growing and learning. Negative situations will pose new and unique challenges for your child, and their emotions may cloud their judgment. Offer viable, achievable ways to remedy the problem. If they’re experiencing conflict with another child, explain how to kindly but firmly ask for better treatment. If another kind of issue arises, explore solutions together until you find one that satisfies you both.
Your child will still have negative experiences as they grow; but if you practice these support pillars, they’ll be equipped with the tools to preserve their self-worth and confidence when they do.
#4 – Give Them Small Jobs to Do At Home
Parents have long had their kids make their beds, pack their lunches, clean their rooms and complete other household chores to instill them with a sense of responsibility. However, fewer guardians practice the same techniques in order to boost their kid’s confidence.
In reality, these kinds of tasks are exactly what kids need to build their self-esteem and display more motivation and determination in their lives. When you give a kid a chore, you don’t only give them a duty to accomplish, but you give them your trust. You’re saying, “I believe you can do this job and that’s why I’m leaving it up to you.”
Children recognize that level of trust and internalize it. When the people closest to them, those who they trust and respect, place faith in them, it builds character and boosts their confidence.
Some routine tasks that can help your kids build their confidence include:
- Dusting
- Sweeping
- Vacuuming
- Setting the table
- Tidying up toys
- Washing the car
- Gardening
- Doing the dishes
- Sorting or folding laundry
#5 – Work On Setting Achievable Goals
The sense of satisfaction one feels from setting and achieving goals is universal. Think of how happy you were the last time you obtained something you worked incredibly hard for– remember how validating it was to finally reach the finish line and how proud of yourself you felt for sticking with it?
Now, imagine you’re a kid again and every day presents the opportunity to set and achieve memorable goals. Children have lots to explore and discover. If you turn many of these everyday acts of learning into a series of achievable goals, you can not only help them learn more, but feel confident in their abilities to do and accomplish more as well.
The issue is that at a young age, children might not understand the concept of reasonable and achievable goals. Their endearing tendency to shoot for the moon also means they may attempt to set drawn-out or extremely difficult objectives. Sit down with them, explain the concept of achievability and help them set personal, motivating goals that they can finish in a relatively short amount of time.
Some examples of realistic goals you can strive for with your children include:
- Reading X amount of pages per night—whatever number fits their skill level, free time and interest
- Getting a better grade on an upcoming test versus a previous one—such as going from a C to a B, for instance
- Scoring a goal for their soccer team before the end of a season
- Exercising for 30 minutes a day
- Replacing one unhealthy snack per day with fruit
These goals should be based on your child’s unique skills, preferences and lifestyle to ensure their attainability. They should be measurable, incremental and, when achieved, build your child’s confidence and abilities.
Kids Build Confidence Every Day at Camp Galileo
Another incredible (and fun) way for your kid to build confidence is through interaction, play and discovery with other children.
Camp Galileo provides an inviting, fun-filled environment where children can grow and play alongside others in their same age group. We’ve meticulously catered our acclaimed program to weave Science, Technology, Engineering, Art and Mathematics (STEAM) discovery together with collaborative recreation. From kindergarten to 8th grade, Camp Galileo provides kids with hands-on, educator-led STEAM activities, outdoor adventures and more. We also provide a Counselor In Training program for 8th-10th graders at select locations.
With each passing day, kids take on unique games, challenges and teamwork exercises to build their resilience, creative thinking skills and, of course, confidence. Camp Galileo boasts all the fun of a traditional camp while prioritizing enrichment and personal development.
The result? An incredible summer experience that you’ll feel as confident sending your kid to as they’ll feel when they leave. Find a camp near you to enroll your child today.
Sources:
- Baimel Adam, Birch Susan A.J., Severson Rachel L.., “Children’s understanding of when a
person’s confidence and hesitancy is a cue to their credibility”. National Library of Medicine. 27 January 2020. https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/. - Child Mind Institute. “12 Tips for Raising Confident Kids”. 2 April 2024. https://childmind.org/.
- Greene Liz. “4 Small Ways to Build Confidence in Kids”. Child Mind Institute. 12 June 2024.
https://childmind.org/. - Purdue University. “Positive Self-Talk”. https://extension.purdue.edu/.
- Scully Kristina. “Positive Thinking Affirmations”. Cleveland Metropolitan School District,
Pathways 2 Success. 2017. https://www.clevelandmetroschools.org/. - Shrier Carrie. “Young children learn by copying you!”. Michigan State University, MSU Extension.
27 June 2014. https://www.canr.msu.edu/. - Storm Maegen. “Practical ways to raise confident kids”. Mayo Clinic Health System. 25 June
2024. https://www.mayoclinichealthsystem.org/.
